Now that you're gone

Now that your gone
It's too dark at night
It's constantly cold
and nothing seems right
Now that your gone
It hurts to be alone
Can't stand it without you
Afraid and on my own
Now that your gone
My world means naught
Sorry for what i said
All the times we faught
Now that your gone
and have left me behind
I'm losing my focus
I've already lost my mind
Now that your gone
I can't seem to find my smile
I didn't think I'd lose it yet
At least not for awhile

I'll be okay even on my weakest days.

Thighs are coloured,
Full of black and blue.
Fingerprints mark them,
What else can I do?

Eyes are mistaken,
For a human waterfall.
I lower my head now,
But I'm not even tall.

These fingers cramp,
From holding this blade.
I closed my eyes,
Hoping not to be saved.

My legs are scarred,
And my heart is sore.
My world is darker,
I can't see anymore.

Until then.

This is life. You better get on you track and fly straight or your not gonna make it. August 25th. 9 Months and 28 days. Then I'll be able to fly free. This school this place I'm forced to call home. It's not right. I know what I need to do. I know who I need to be. But this people? This people know nothing. Nothing at all. All of these things they say these things they do it means nothing. From the simple hellos i used to get to the have a good day they think they can help but nobody can. I am me and that's all I'm going to be. The bullshit I have to put up with her lies. Everything. I know why he needed to leave. I now know why things are not meant to be. 9 months and 28 days until I never have to talk to her again. She has asked for this. She brought this upon her self. To never see her grand kids. To not be apart of me. 8 months and 16 days until I get to see your sweet face, your little fingers and little toes. You will be all mine and you will love me no matter what happens. These things they all happen for a reason, She wants me out and I want out. This is my chance to get out. I'll I need is me and my little bug that's inside of me. I don't need him but my love bug does, I love him but I often ask myself if he really does love me. Will he go with me? Or will he stay with his first family? The family that will always be first over our family? His little boy and ex girlfriend. Am I crazy for doing this? No. I am not crazy for doing this. My love bug is mine and with or with out the daddy I WILL do this. My baby WILL have an amazing life he or she is going to be my everything. Have you ever been in my shoes? NO. So you don't know who I feel, what hes put me though. People ask me all the time why I'm still with him. It's simple. Very simple. I Love Him.

The first day that I saw him I new that I would like him.
But what I didn’t no is that I would like him this much
If I was able to I wish I could just tell him that every
Night I pray to god that I could just hold him once.
Maybe just have one kiss, one hug. Something that would
Tell me that he liked me with just the littlest bit.
I have gone though this to much. I wish that maybe just
Maybe he would like me not her. I keep changing for him.
But now I’m done I have had changed to much for now on I’m
Me only me if he doesn’t like that well then I guess he doesn’t
Like me. I’ve only made myself more pain then needed.im what ever
Way I put it. Him, He, It, Mr., anything it would be the same
I like him he doesn’t no it I want him he wants her I need him.
He needs her.

Open Book

Im a open book and you're all hopelessly engrossed. Flip through my pages, study my words. I make rules to break, and wear a smile like a mask. Fiction in my veins, fantasy is my game. I wish my life was an eternal fairytale; with prince charming a palace away. Sharp angles, soft complexion; I’m the perfect example of what not to be. Use me, bruise me, lose me -- I’m still strong. My voice will never be silenced. I’m not leaving until I’m good and ready. I’ll stick to you like a virus. If I have something against you, you'll never hear the end of it. I’m gaudy, I’m deep. My heart is my enemy & my closest friend. Make what you want of me, but whatever you do, don’t judge me by my cover.